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Tuesday, 29 May 2007

家庭聚餐

是晚,某家族於旺角某食肆舉行家庭聚餐。

除了上次大鬧環球嘉年華的三爺孫外,出席的還有該名阿爺之前妻、新抱,以及另一名孫女(暫且叫住佢做孫女二號)也。


席間,除了論及股市、醫院點滴、家庭成員近況外,好似就冇其他有建設性的話題。

當中,該家族成員更親身感受到語言的力量:

前妻:(對住前夫) 喂!你個形狀keep得好好喎

爺:(滴汗)........

眾人嘩然, 大家係個腦海入面努力咁想像咁到底呢位阿爺前妻所講既「形狀」係乜。

良久..........

孫女:(打圓場)哎~~,阿嫲係講緊,你個"shape" keep得好好姐!係唔係呀?係唔係呀?

(大家恍然大晤)

孫仔:果然用英文講就好唔同呀下....嘿嘿嘿~~

爺:(仲係無奈中)....係......咩.......?




想知到阿爺個shape係咩?可以參考席間另一位孫女提出的另一件往事:

孫女二:(突然醒覺狀)阿爺!你記唔記得以前係學生會房,阿邊個佢扭過你個手臂.....唔知你而家係咪同以前一樣,都係扭到一個半圈呢?

爺:......


還有,仲可以參考埋另一名叫太公的孫女的渴望:

孫女:(鼓勵的神情)阿爺!你個shape好fit!記得Keep 住呢個shape!

爺:(終於受到鼓勵,受創整晚的心靈終於得到慰藉和鼓舞)係?真係?嗯!我都覺得呢個身型冇壞,cute cute 地....

孫女:(興奮)係!咁下次約埋行出街,我企係你隔離,咁睇落我咪好瘦lor!!好野!!(自得其樂中)
(註:呢位孫女是晚被某資深護士初步識別為患有專注力不足過度活躍症)

爺:xyz*&#&*@&^#*@&%*&^#*&^@*#&$......



如是者,家族聚餐就在一片混亂的笑聲中度過。


是晚,該家族共嚇走三枱客,兼因太嘈而被侍應警告五次正。如果你地今晚咁唔好彩撞到我地,而又有任何有不便之處,你都只可以怪自己唔好彩,閣下呢期梗係拜得神少,聽日快d去搵車公(或者豬公都得)上返柱香,阿門。

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